I hate how I can't.
I never know what is going on.
I have never been particularly intuitive, even less so when I am emotional.
I finally cried. It always takes something extreme to provoke a response, doesn't it?
I remember at the beginning of the year, I would never respond to texts unless they were interesting. Now what's happened? I fucking write paragraphs in response to "=D" or "lol".
It is awful. I feel awful. I can't remember the last time I was a bitch. I used to hate everyone. What happened? Rubaiya got a fucking boyfriend? Changed her name to Leah? The things we do.
The saddest part:
I'd rather be called Leah.
Jacob's ugly wife.
This is the name I'm sticking with; my easy-to-say, easy-to-spell, easy-to-remember alias. My dhaknam.
I guess a tiny name for a tiny person.
Fuck, what did I do.
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2 comments:
If it makes you feel better, I can't read minds either. I never know what is going through their head, or what the subtext to their statements are.
My answer to this is to be blunt and innocently curious. Because if people expect me to hear what they say, and act on what they think, they are going to be rather disappointed.
But I'm an aspie, so I can blame mind-blindness on that. What about you?
I am not.
It is more that I sort of know, but I am not sure, which is the problem.
Or I make it worse than it actually is.
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