I just want to talk to him : /

Holy hell, am I sad right now.
I've been fine all day, and all of yesterday. It is just right now.
He is not here, and everything reminds me of him.
He left his shoes and his towel here, he gave me his legos, there is change on my table, his jacket is on my couch, the Big White Book is on my bookshelf, Pokemon is on my TV, Layton is in my DS, Penny Arcade is on my computer. My sheets even smell like him. Hell, even I smell like him. I've been using his soap and his towel and jacket and I miss him I miss him I miss him.
I talked to him today, and we listened to the PA podcast, but I miss how he holds me and talks quietly and tells me everything is going to be okay and that I'll be just fine and how are we doing? Perfect, and Do I love you? Do you love me? Do we love each other? and can I do anything for you? can I get you anything? can I do anything to help? what do you want to do? is it okay if I go play some Magic with Tucker? Call me if you want me to come back. I'll see you later. I love you, Leah.

"He still loves you, and he didn't want to leave you."

This doesn't actually belong in the dislike blog, but I know it'd just make me sad if I put it in the other one.

Basically, the title of this post came from something Sam said to me on Wednesday night. It's basically what's been getting me through these past few days.
It's not even what she said, really. The words are nice, but how she said it. Her tone, the quality of voice.
Sounded like Erik.

I know

I know.
I've been stuck in an epically shitty situation that I am honestly unsure if I want to even be a part of.

Whoa, lack of punctuation.
Anyway. I feel like shit.

I posted to reddit, and yes, fears confirmed. Woo. Awesome.


I don't understand why he can't tell me. I don't understand I don't understand I don't understand.

So, things I am already frustrated with.
Umm, so I just got back from Erik leaving, which is already awesome, and then I walk into the lounge, and of course they're playing magic. This doesn't infuriate me in and of itself, but Tim won't fucking shut up about Erik.

I really hate my boyfriend.

"Wanna go to the zoo?"
"I'd love to go to the zoo!"
*sleeps all fucking day*
*wakes up*
"Let's go to the cardshop! We'll do whatever you want afterward."
"O-okay."
*return from cardshop*
"I'm going to go play Magic with Tucker."
"FUCK YOU, BUDDY."



Lies lies lies lies lies lies.
I do not understand. I want to go to the zoo, or the movies, or Safeway, or anywhere.


Oh, and I called him a little while ago, because he said he was coming over.
He said, I'm on my way, just gotta grab some stuff from my room.
In the background, I can hear him playing Magic.



Holy hell, am I angry right now.