I don't know how to feel about things anymore. It has been two years. Have I run out of steam? Does it come back? I feel tremendously guilty, but what to do? Pretend like it is the same, I guess.
I want to have both, which is pretty frustrating. I don't even want one or the other anymore. Just both.
I wish they read this. It would be so much easier.
maybe it is the drugs.

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