I feel like this.

I want to feel like this.

I am ready to fall asleep and wake up when break is over.

okay.

no.

you know what

i spent my time waiting for break so i could feel betrer

and now it's break and i still feel shitty

and when break is over i will still feel shitty

nothing gets better ever and nothing gets worse

the thing that makes things seem better though is learning how to cope

but i don't know how to manage this anymore

i can't i can't i can't

i hate being at school because no one thinks i am a real person and i hate being at home because no one thinks i am a real perosn and i hate being anywhere at all because i don't think i am a real person

i will never do anything important or meaningful and i will never be good enough at anything for me to respect me

and it's everyone's fault

when i am sad and i tell my mom hey mom i am a sad person, she always says you are just pmsing. hey mom i am not okay please take me seriously sometimes

when my dad asks my opinions on things and i am like hey dad here is my opinion on this thing and he is like, that is an incorrect opinion and you will grow out of this crazy radical way of thinking when you are older, also when i was your age i hated when my dad told me this

okay way to go dad way to learn from the past and also make me feel like i am a valid person

when i want to be awkward and erik is like hey leah call me and lets be awkward, okay i am done being awkward i am going to sleep now, dont carethat i just left you hanging, and then whenyou bring it up tomorrow, sorry that i'm going to leave you hanging again

sometimes i guess i jokingly demand people to validate me, but no its not really a joke