Since I came back to Tempe on Monday, I have suffered a radical mood shift. I am depressed, angry and frustrated for no reason, and I keep getting this killer headache.


wtf mang

things are boring

and i feel like first wave emo

i want to go home

but i thought this was home?

I am unhappy

and my friends are on too many drugs to care

I had such a fucking awful day yesterday.

the highlights included, but were not limited to:

being stuck in rush hour traffic

being stuck out in an intersection while trying to take a left for 3 cycles

my period starting during aforementioned traffic

getting home to find the toilet broken

I can't handle this.

I AM SO SCARED TO EVEN BE A FAKE REAL PERSON

today was supposed to be my last real day of break, since tomorrow we're going to visit Sierra Vista. Now, week days are the best thing because I can go from 8am to 6pm without interacting with anyone; limited texting, limited computer time, no phone calls, no going outside. I really relish this time, and since today was supposed to be my last day of break, I set my alarm for early'o'clock so I could enjoy it (note, alarm was set for 11am). I ended up not sleeping the entire night due to unforseen a/c problems, and perhaps excitement. So I was awake during my parents' wake up tiemz and I patiently waited it out with the aid of old episodes of the joystiq podcast. When I was sure my mom had left for work, I peeked outside my window (it has a good view of the driveway) to see if my dad's car was still there. Fine. He often leaves late for the office. I check again an hour later, at 9, and his car is still there. Wha? I give him the benefit of the doubt and assume he'll leave eventually. I then check again at 10:30. HIS CAR IS STILL THERE. By this time, I am starving, and in desperate need of food, so I wander out to the living room/kitchen area, only to find my dad watching tv in his pajamas. Upon seeing me, he says, "I'm playing hooky today!" Human interaction. All fuckin day. Fine, I'll just lock myself in my room for the rest of the day. No tv, which means no movies or inane distractions so I can knit, but whatever.

I still need to eat, though. So I pour myself a giant bowl of cereal, equivalent to two bowls, and go to the fridge for milk. We are out of milk.

FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUU

the bookstore incident

This happened sometime last semester, maybe November? Or earlier. I don't really know.

Anyway, Erik had told me to read a book (because it was really depressing, and that is supposed to make me like it, for some reason), so I wanted to get a new book for myself. Since we were heading to Tempe Marketplace, we asked Tim's room if anyone was interested in going. Greg and Kevin wanted to go to Target to get some things, so they came along. Erik and I went to Barnes and Nobles to look for books. Greg and Kevin met up with us there, and asked what kind of book I was looking for. Since this is easier, I told them some books I liked and some I didn't. So yeah, I really don't like fantasy books, and most sci fi is pretty unappealing. I like postmodern and weird and pretentious things. Of course, Kevin says "so you mean you like bad books". Other things were said, and I was real mad. I gave them a ride to Tempe Marketplace. Also, as it turned out, Kevin has been holding on to my copy of The Persistence of Vision, which I liked, and he also liked! Too bad he didn't recognize that I have good taste in books.

Also, Joe thinks I am too "avant-garde" when it comes to books. I like dry Russian lit. How is that avant-garde?