guhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Love sucks.
Awesome.






I am sick of being frustrated. I want him to see that.

magic

on top of all this other bullshit is fucking horrendous.

I feel bad for my friends, and I feel guilty for feeling bad about myself. I mean, at least I have a boyfriend.
*sigh*

Like I told Matt the other night about being in a relationship.
I would not recommend it to anyone. I will never actively desire to be in a relationship ever again. It is nice when it is nice, but it feels like my heart is breaking every day and I don't know why.

It is the most awful feeling. I don't deserve him, and I continue to fuck up. He loves me, and that hurts, and I don't know why.

wanting to sleep

but not being able to because of the internet, of all things.


FUCK YOU INTERNETS.

YOU ARE THE REASON I AM KNITTING SO SLOWLY AND NOT READING AT ALL.

I do not enjoy it when Vida is closed.


That is the only reason I drove around all day! To have a latte at the end of it.

God damn you, Globe.

break has been a mess

I was planning on doing a lot of things over break and none of them got done because I am silly and female and very very very female.

I guess I did learn how to type.


I talked to Matt for four hours on the phone about nothing.
I want to talk to Erik for four hours on the phone about nothing : /

Don't get me wrong, I love talking to anyone on the phone for four hours about nothing (especially Matt. He is an interesting guy), but I would like it if I could do that with my boyfriend. I certainly don't want to do this every day, or even every week, but maybe once, I would like to talk to him about nothing for an extended period of time.

I think it is silly how he can be talking to me online, and you know, having a conversation, and then as soon as one of his Magic buddies is online, I am demoted to afterthought.


IT IS SO FUCKING NEAT.

I absolutely cannot be selfish. I want him to talk to me instead of playing DotA but I can't say it.



This fucking sucks.